It’s odd that I feel the most stuck, when I am actually not stuck at all.
I suppose it is the equivalent in physics, when we are aware of either the fixed position in time and space, or aware of the motion, but can’t know both at the same time.
I’m in motion, but I am aware of myself in the here and now.
I find that I serve two functions, observe and analyze. I observe the outside as well as my own thought process, and I find the patterns as well as the inconsistencies. And I feel like that is all I do.
It is hard being compartmentalized at times, because I’m aware that I do so much more, but I don’t feel like a participant. I am like a program running in the background, always processing, never sleeping.
I burned out a few days ago and have just been doing mindless things like playing video games, because I need to not think for a while.