Best Self Forward

The universe isn’t deterministic. It doesn’t discriminate. It simply Is. 

It is we, who just bumble about, doing what we do, being who and what we are.

We are in this constant state of action and reaction, always interpreting information, adapting to changes in the environment, and making choices based on our own experience.

Humans are blessed and cursed.

We are blessed with the ability to gather and interpret knowledge. We are blessed with the ability to conceptualize possibilities and conceive of a future. We are blessed with the ability to communicate complex ideas with one another.

However, some experiences, some knowledge, can create a hindrance. 

The knowledge that anyone and anything is a potential threat, can rob a person of their ability to derive joy from the present, for example.

Another problem is misinformation. 

Some people purposefully spread misinformation, in order to shape other people’s perception.

For example, media seems to perpetuate opinions and accusations, which sway the public to think in a particular way about issues. 

Every issue is polarized by politics, which serves to keep the population divided and distracted, and hence unable to accomplish social progress.

Maybe you are one of those people who have woken from the fog of deception. Maybe you are wondering what you can do. What can any of us do?

Socialization has taught us to trust others with our well-being, infrastructure, and society as a whole.

It has been proven repeatably, we in fact, cannot trust the welfare of society to these crooks currently in office.

So, what you can do is: trust yourself.

Trust that you have the sense, the intuition, and the ability, to do what is in your best interest.

I think there are some basic things we can all agree on.

We need clean water, clean air, rich soil, and nutritious food. Basics.

It would be wise to elect people or to run for office yourself, for those of us who realize that a small elite are systematically destroying our resources and hoarding theirs, so that the human race will be completely dependent.

We are making our planet uninhabitable. 

We are allowing fracking to destroy our drinking water. Our lifestyles are acidifying the oceans, destroying ecosystems, and wiping out wildlife, while simultaneously destroying the quality of human life.

We are capable of creating any reality we choose for ourselves.

The Players of this Game of Life have chosen profit and perpetual suffering.

Are you a pawn or do you choose to play how you want?

This is where the human curse comes in.

The imagination is powerful. We have been taught what to imagine and what to expect: life isn’t fair, I’m just one person, one person can’t make a difference, it is what it is, we’re expendable, quantity is better than quality, etc.

The truth is, everything is a man made construct. Money is imaginary (and has no actual value, it isn’t backed by anything physical). Governments are just a bunch of rules and hierarchy made up by people a long time ago. The work week is based on the Gregarian calendar, another man-made concept. Royalty is only royal because their ancestors convinced your ancestors of their superiority. Monogamy was a means of control that came about with monotheism. Marriage is just a made up ritual meant to solidify a union within a community. Borders are imaginary. How can a human own a chunk of a 4.5 billion year old planet?

Do you get the point? 

Nothing is set in stone. We can live however we choose to live. 

It is a matter of breaking out of ideas which no longer serve you or mankind and it starts with trusting yourself to make the right choice.

I don’t expect everyone to just wake up and take responsibility. We aren’t going to change over night. 

Our way of life and blind obedience has been ingrained in us for centuries. This will take time.

We have to put forth the best version of ourselves that we can, because that is how we are going to get through these dark times ahead.


Severed Ties

Long ago, I gave up the roles I was assigned at birth.

Being the child of my mother, meant that I was worthless and I was a burden. So I stopped being her child.

Showing my stress caused pain to my grandmother, who felt helpless when it came to my situation. So I stopped being the troubled grandchild.

Floundering in school, I was the idiot savant. I knew a lot, but never did my assignments. Teachers often confessed their frustration with me because I could be in honors classes if I just did the work. So I stopped being the disappointing student too.

I severed the ties to the roles I was given and have isolated so much.

I’m not anyone any more.

I don’t even know how to be anyone any more. I tend to go out of my way to go unnoticed and to have as little impact as possible. Withdrawn into myself.

The Loner

I read a passage written about a patient. 

It read like a novel, and the character described was a sad loner type–someone who puts up walls and feels they can’t trust anyone because of a traumatic past.

It was me being described, and I was sad that anyone would see me in that way. It made me feel pathetic, and I shed a few tears. Some for the doctor who saw me that way, and some for the caricature of myself.

Maybe I seem like a broken down mess, but I still walk tall. My head is held high.

I’ve seen my fair share of pain, but I am a warrior, nonetheless. And I am a healer, and I am Whole.

It is up to me to create a narrative for myself. 

Unknowing Myself

I don’t know how to define myself, but I want to try. Who am I and what is my experience like?

I’m a sentient being who happens to be human. 

I’m this collection of thoughts, feelings, experiences, and knowledge, encapsulated in flesh.

My personality is unknowable to me. As far as I can tell, I am made up of many components. These components configure in any number of ways at any given time, and that is who I am at the moment. I think this is actually true of all people. [Multiple Aspects of Self Framework].

I have multiple views at any given time, which can be distracting when I need to do something, but otherwise is very engaging and insightful for me.

Most of the time, I feel like a part of my surroundings and I am absorbed in thoughts or daydreams.

I feel at peace when I am alone and am seldom lonely.

I am never bored.

Sometimes I need a break from sensory input and will take a rest away from people, sound, lights, etc.

I am aware of my feelings, but am distant from them. But when I am alone, I allow myself to feel, and I feel deeply.

I very much want to see my species continue to evolve. I want to see us live by the creed of evidence and compassion.

I feel at home in my head space and out of my element around people.

Does it matter who I am?

There’s stillness within and stillness without.

Why don’t I move from the stillness?