Giving Death To

I’ve been thinking about what I need to give death to in my life so that I may live fully.

The main things I need to give death to are: excuses for and beliefs about myself.

My problem is that the Self is contextual and my context has been isolation, institutionialisation, and unhealthy family for 33 years.

I literally don’t know how to be. And because I spent so much time in observation growing up, I never know if I’m doing or saying enough or too much.

That’s an excuse. It may be a fact, but it is still an excuse.

Why is it so hard to let go of what I know? 

Living like this is most likely far worse than just taking more risks and putting myself out in the world.

I’ll just file this under my existential meanderings and sleep on it.

Ancient Psychology

Ancient Psychology

I’ve been studying mysticism, occult, archetypes, perception, and society at large for some time now. I look at reoccurring themes in my own life as well as family themes, fads and trends on social media, and I see how the pieces fit together. 

I’ve endured a lot and I see such depth, such capacity, of what humans are and what they can be. 

For many years, I took the role of warrior and wounded healer. Those archetypes served me well, but it is time to change the narrative. 

Seeing what we as humans do to ourselves and each other, it is disheartening. There is so much needless suffering in our lives. But that doesn’t define who we are. It’s just a part of the narrative.

This story isn’t about what happened to you. This story is about who you are and how you handle yourself moment to moment.

Life is spontaneous, beautiful, and chaotic. And each person has their own unique version of the world. 

As for me, I shall change the paradigm. I am no longer a warrior nor a wounded healer.

I am an explorer, braving this strange frontier and making my own way through the world.

Life Path

At some point, man becomes conscious.

As he looks ahead, he sees the paths of those who have gone before him.

Two paths diverge, representing polarity, duality, opposites. Most travelers pick one of these paths, as likely their parents did, and their parents before them.

To choose division is to give up one’s power in favor of the mob mentality.

A far more difficult but rewarding path rises up between the divided roads.

This path is for the courageous, the ones who want to actively create a better reality for themselves.

It means taking responsibility, being aware, and acting in one’s own best interest, as well as being there for fellow travelers.

Which path will he choose?

The Frog’s Journey

There once was a frog who loved to sing, dance, and play.

He was so full of energy and life, but the other frogs began turning him away.

Getting lonesome, he wandered deep into the woods, in search of a friend.

But there was no one who would play with the frog.

“You’re just a frog.” They’d say.

The frog kept going deeper into the woods, and it began to rain.

He sought shelter beneath a rock that stuck out of a small hill.

It rained. It poured. He thought it might never stop.

He waited and waited.

Then suddenly, the rock slid down the hill and trapped the frog in the mud.

“I’m going to die here!” moaned the frog.

He squirmed and wiggled, he fought as hard as he could. But the more he struggled, the more he became stuck in the mud.

Eventually the rain began to let up and he noticed a raven in the distance, hopping along the ground.

The frog cried out for help, but it was no use. The raven didn’t seem to hear him.

It was then that the frog noticed a wolf getting ready to pounce the raven.

“Watch out!” the frog called out to the raven, to no avail.

The frog closed his eyes because he couldn’t watch.

*thump*

*tumbling through the leaves*

Giggling?

The frog opened his eyes to see the raven and wolf playing!

It moved his heart to see them so freely expressing themselves and having fun.

By now the rain had stopped, the sun was shining again, and the mud was beginning to dry.

They weren’t  a wolf and a raven in that moment, they were just two souls having a good time!

The wolf pranced and the raven dove, a dance of sorts. And as they did, the frog found himself uplifted and he began to dance too.

He slowly shook off the cracking mud and crawled out from beneath the rock.

From that day forward, the frog sang, danced, and played, no matter what anyone else said. For he was never “just a frog” again.

Let Go

Another night, been up late

Feeling sad, can’t think straight

Staring up, gears are turning

Blood is hot, Soul is yearning

Want to break out of the machine

Take my friends from the scene

Of the greatest mass crime in history

Nine to five, and five to nine

Life’s constricted, loss of time

Busy liking and posting about things

Unaware they’ve clipped your wings

Samsung, Apple, Microsoft too

Terror, revolutions, military coup

Happening now, but where are you?

No need to fight yet, just pause for now

Find inner peace, ask yourself how

Brush yourself off and take a stand

Be a decent human and lend a hand

We’re in this together, you and me

Compassion and action heals society

Forgive, let go, and set yourself free