It’s rare that I get a crush on someone. So, when I do, I examine it.
I always crush on someone who I consider to be very intelligent, compassionate, and playful. Those traits are what I look for in a partner.
It’s always on someone whom is about 15-20 years older than me. There is a sense of maturity and safety around them.
They tend to be very self aware and healthy.
I think maybe, I want to have these traits myself. I am then attracted to these traits in others, because it inspires me to be a better version of myself.
I’m not sure about the age gap. They tend to look about 10 years younger than they are because of good health / genes, but usually old enough to be my parents. (My parents were only 18 when I was born).
Maybe that is my unconscious wanting healthy, intelligent, compassionate, playful parents. Freud??
They are also always not an option for me, so that means I don’t even attempt to go for them.
I’m being more open to the idea of love. I guess I ought to be less dismissive of my crushes.