Context: My mother is a narcissist and addict, and hurts everyone she knows. She is always the victim and I’ve always been the scapegoat. I’ve been extending my compassion more toward my step-dad lately, because I’ve noticed he’s been drinking more and trying to justify being with my mom. (She’s been engaged a few times and married three times, so I can pick up on trouble).
Today, I felt comfortable enough to relate to him about losing a beloved dog. I shared my experience with him and my mom intervened to tell him that I’m wrong about that story.
She denies most of what I say, whether it is good or bad, whether it even pertains to her. She has even flat out told me that she thinks I have false memory syndrome.
So I feel inspired to communicate this to her:
Although.you do your best to undermine me and prevent me from having a healthy relationship with you and anyone else, I forgive you. I think if you fully understood how your behavior effects other people, that you would change your ways. You are self-destructive and take people down with you.
My hope for you is that you pick yourself up and look in the mirror long and hard. I hope you choose to overcome whatever it is that eats at your soul, because no one deserves to be left in the wake of your destruction.
I will not suffer from you or for you any more. I am not the person that you say I am. I am whole. I am loved. I know myself more every day. Can you say the same?
I am the mountain and you are the wind. Do as you will, but I will always stand tall and strong in the end.