I’ve been suffering panic attacks as long as I can remember. It always happens when I’m trying to sleep.
My throat tenses up, my neck starts jerking, I feel like I’m being violently attacked. My body stiffens and my lower back and pelvis shakes uncontrollably. I feel a warm runny sensation from my ear and nose, and I’m convinced my brain has had an aneurysm and I’m dying.
That is a typical panic attack for me. I usually stop thinking of it as horrible, and just make up a story to take my mind off what I’m feeling. It seems to help a lot.
But tonight I didn’t make up a story. I acknowledged the violence and fear I experienced and was finally able to shed my first tears in a long time.