So, I didn’t schedule a follow up with my therapist after last week’s session. We agreed that I would call next week and discuss the possibility of scheduling my next appointment.
I don’t feel the freedom in that, just a bit of extra room on the proverbial leash. A little slack, but I still have the obligation to make contact after only one week.
I told him I have hit a wall and need to take action on my own for a little while, and when I felt ready to talk again, I’d be back. I feel like there is nothing to talk about (nothing I want to talk about) at this moment in time.
Normally, I would feel pretty freaked out over how much I’ve been dissociating…but everything is okay. Some slip ups and confusion here and there, but nothing I can’t minimize. That means I am feeling more comfortable and confident with myself.
Sometimes I still question my sanity, but the fact I do that means I am still reasonable. I’m not questioning taking a break from therapy. I’m questioning what I’m doing with my life.
Every time I see my life as a train wreck, I remember that a lot of people are dealing with things they think they can’t handle. We endure and we do the best we can to seem like everything is okay. If I strip away the worries, then everything is okay.
One day at a time…