As graduation nears for my cousins, I swell with pride for them and disappointment with the rest of my family. No one supported me as an undergraduate. No one took me seriously because it took so long, and no one acknowledged my struggles. They just treated me like a loser.
By the time I graduated, I felt that I had been getting closer to having a healthy relationship with my aunt, uncle, and grandfather, but none of them were going to my graduation. What should have been a day of celebration with my family, was just another day I had no one to share with. I didn’t go to my own graduation, and I just went to the office to sign for my diploma.
It really bothers me that I’ve been treated like a lost cause for as long as I can remember. They shut out my mom because she was reckless and they left me with her. No one wanted to take responsibility for the child of a fuck up.
I resent my mom for dragging me through her hell and I resent my family for turning their backs on her when she clearly needed help. If family isn’t there for family, then what is the point of having one?
I am estranged from my aunt and uncle, but I visit my grandpop regularly. I can’t say it’s a healthy relationship. I want to believe that it is, but he seems very clingy and needy, which is very off-putting.
I’m looking forward to getting out of here, soon.